Finding Balance

Balance.
An even distribution of weight. When different elements are equal.

For me, balance is everything and something I struggle with in a big way.

I often wonder how women who have found balance keep it. Is it wealth and the ability to do what you desire without restraints? Or investing in a nanny, a cleaning lady, and a good babysitter to help with the many responsibilities in the home? Or is it simply saying “no” and “not a good time” and “not going to be able to do it” without caring what people say or think?

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was working for a bridal magazine in New York City surrounded by smart, successful, powerful women most of whom were moms and wives. They were open about their nannies who were an extension of their family. They helped them with their children, kept their home clean and even cooked sometimes.

“I will never have another person taking care of my children or cleaning my house,” I thought while smiling in their faces. I was so judgmental then.

Today, I would have a fulltime nanny, a chef, a cleaning lady, a trainer, a nutritionist, a masseuse, a groomer (do humans have groomers or is that just for pets? Hm.), a night nurse, a suga Momma, a suga Daddy, someone to clean my car, to rub my feet, braid my hair. You get the idea. I’ll take all the help I can get. And fast.

(Can I also have someone to keep the kids quiet and happy while I nap? Thanks. That would be a dream.)

Whether you’re a business woman or a stay-at-home mom, a mother of one or a mother of three, a single mom or a two-parent family, most of us struggle to create balance.

The struggle is real but I’m determined to have balance. And won’t give up until it’s mine.

If you’re on team goodness-gracious-I’ve-got-to-get-some-balance, here are a few small but very important things you should apply to your life.

Meditate. Even as little as five or 10 minutes a day helps to gain clarity and calm even the most active mind.

Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.

Be present. Focus on what is in front of you, not what you left behind or what is right around the corner. And when I say “in front of you,” I’m not talking about your TV or cell phone.

Balance is not better time management but better boundary management. Balance means making choices and enjoying those choices.

Don’t be afraid to say no (and yes). Saying “no” can be liberating. Don’t be a “yes ma’am” who is afraid to say no. No is a-okay. On the other hand, maybe you’re someone who needs to say “yes” more often. Stop being a grump and live a little.

Life is about balance. Be kind, but don’t let people abuse you. Trust, but don’t be deceived. Be content, but never stop improving yourself.

Live by your own rules. It’s your life. Who are we to tell you how to live it? Be steadfast in your decision to follow your own path and find your own way. And make no excuses for it.

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.

Make a plan and stick to it. There are two things everyone needs – a “to do” list and a calendar. Update your “to do” list weekly and include work and personal. Keep a calendar to stay organized and on top of important dates and deadlines. Take it a step further and create a life plan – a short term and long term list of goals and strategies. If done right, your weekly to do list will be the baby steps needed to reach the short term and long term goals you set.

Make a list of things that make you happy. Make a list of things you do every day. Compare the lists. Adjust accordingly.

Good luck finding balance. We’ll get there.

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